life: why me?

why me?

that's what i'm thinking about tonight..

why me?

but not your typical 'oh woe is me' way..

no, not at all in that way.

in fact, i am feeling enormously blessed tonight. nothing in particular happened, or didn't happen. there was no close call this week, no tragedy. sure the dude was sick & our couch had an unfortunate meet with some violently propelled liquids... but even that turned out ok. (well better than ok as i'm eyeing the other two cushions & contemplating washing them as well)

i am healthy, as are my children, my brother & his wife, my parents & my in-laws. my husband & i laughed at each other & with each other tonight after a long week of the grumps resulting from his working long hours, and my lack of sleep. (it started out with us wondering why we were still watching the disney channel after the dude had gone to bed..... and even after pointing it out... continuing to watch hannah montana..)

the babe is like an old pro at teething. aside from the drool you wouldn't really have even known that he cut his first tooth. he really is such a good baby. no one believes me when i say that he goes to bed at 630pm & sleeps through the night, waking up at about 7am, & just laughing in his crib until i go get him out.

i could sit here & list things that aren't 'perfect'. but... can't everyone? i'm not going to complain about not being able to eat out more often... or having to evaluate every little dime & nickel we spend. i could, but i won't. i know we aren't the only ones facing a single income & a horrible economy. it was OUR choice. and losing out on that means that i get to spend every moment watching the babe through his first year.. and not having to send the dude to after school care everyday until 6pm.

when i think...'why me?' i think about all the things i'm lucky enough to have in my life (supportive family, a family that is very generous in giving of themselves, an aunt that goes WAY out of her way to do nice things for me & my boys, a wonderful small group of friends, a husband who has allowed me to stay home, beautiful & healthy children...etc) and wonder what it was i ever did to deserve them? i sure feel unworthy of such great gifts most days.

i don't say these things to brag. i say them because i know how many absolutely wonderful loving & giving people aren't as lucky, and NOT appreciating what i have, would be in a way disrespectful to them.

i know i won't always be as fortunate. i know i will have my share of sadness. i have had my share of it in the past. but, i will do my best to be thankful now. to be grateful for each & every day i am given with the people i love.. because in the end.. that's really the only thing i will ever regret not having.

hope you had a wonderful weekend :)
xo-k