life: what i want to remember

i am not a perfect mama.

i am human.

i try to accept that, & when i make a mistake, forgive myself & move forward.

even though sometimes it's easier to be grumpy that there is juice on the freshly mopped floor..

or that there is sand tracked in when i just swept...

or that apparently no one but me knows where the sink & trash can are.

it's easy to get upset when he won't get ready in the morning..

or when he had a not so great day at school..

or when he has to empty out an entire drawer to get one shirt out..

but.. he is like me...

he is not perfect..

he is human & a beautiful fragile 6 year old little boy.

i try to remember that & forgive & move on quickly.

but what i want to remember about him at six is..

he is silly... & makes funny faces when i ask to take his picture

he is smart... & constantly amazes us at what he knows

he is sweet.... & always wants to cuddle next to me on the couch

he loves unconditionally.... & still loves to hug & kiss me goodnight

he gets down on himself.... & he needs us to build him up

he is brave... & he doesn't always know it

he battles with adhd.... & he is amazingly successful most days

he loves his brother... & makes him laugh all the time

he is kind... even though the next door neighbor girl is often very mean to him

he loves legos... & can build them all on his own now

he makes me smile... & i forget why i was upset with him

he is fragile.... & we have to watch our words

he is sensitive.... & cries easily when his feelings are hurt

he loves art.... & says he wants to be like jackson pollock when he grows up

he is growing up so fast i can't believe it most days. everyone keeps remarking on how tall he is. he hasn't had his medicine the last few days & it's been interesting. some good. some bad. one of the moments that sticks out in my head from the past week is while we were at moms. he was off in his own little world in mom's back yard, walking around talking to himself & playing with the wheelbarrow. (not unusual for him) mom asked him to go down to my aunts house (who lives right behind my mom) & ask to borrow some honey. normally, sans medicine, this would have been a long drawn out ordeal. but he was focused & did just what was asked of him. he walked straight down, & came right back with the honey. he acted like such a grown up about the whole thing, my heart sort of swelled with pride. it gives me hope that he'll learn to manage without the medicine one day.

i love this little (big) boy so much & feel so lucky to be his mama.

(and i really can't believe my baby will be 7 this year)

xo-k

ps- i asked him if he wanted me to read this to him, since it was all about him. after i read it he started kissing & hugging me & telling me thank you. i asked him why he was thanking me.. & he said because it was all true. (such a sweet boy!!)