my life: perspective

i turned 33 on wednesday.
it was an uneventful, normal everyday type of day.. and it was wonderful.
it's crazy how much my perspective has changed since those gloomy days surrounding 30.
when i turned 30 i was in an awful state emotionally.
we were in the midst of our second round of infertility issues (the first was with the dude), and everyone around me was pregnant.
and.. if you've ever been in that situation.. you can appreciate the toll it takes on you.
it's like no matter how hard you try, you have tunnel vision.. a one track mind..
and even though you try to be happy for someone who is bringing a child into the world..
it still serves as a reminder for your own issues.

that's not what i want to dwell on right now though...

'cause 33, well, it's kinda awesome.
life is not perfect.
i mean let's face it.. life is NEVER going to be perfect.
but if you choose to dwell on the positive, dwell on the possibilities instead of letting the negative drown you..
life can be amazing.
it's all about perspective, and changing it.

project life has been an AMAZING influence on my life, and my overall perspective of it.
it's made me realize how absolutely blessed i am in EVERY LITTLE DETAIL of my life.
from the trips to the doctors, where nothing life threatening has been wrong with my children..
to the appearance of friends & family..
and then the times when i spend hours agonizing over what pictures to include because there is SO MUCH LIFE on some weeks.
i am BLESSED.
BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE.

but... it also made me realize.. while my words are the voice in our album..
i MYSELF am rarely seen... and what few appearances i make..
are pictures of me, by me.. and with no one else present..
usually the product of me saying.. i guess it's about time i show up in this album again!

so as i was ordering pictures last week, and reevaluating what i want our project life to be..
i made a mental note to grin & bear the not so perfect shots others might capture, and get 'em in there.
so wednesday after i neglected to charge my dslr battery, i handed over my cell phone & had the hubs snap some pictures.
ONE out of about 20 was acceptable enough for me to share..!
i love him, but he definitely doesn't have a photographers eye! :)

so here is my blurry, poorly lit, one kid not even looking at the camera birthday photo.
and as evidenced by my huge smile.. i'll say it again..
life is good.
life is really really good.

xo-k